Guide to safer sex
See Terrence Higgins Trust's Sex Facts for confidential online advice about sex, contraception and sexual health. You can submit a question, without using an email account and are given a code to collect your answer after 24 hours.
All sex carries a risk of picking up a sexually transmitted infection (STI). You can never be totally safe. STIs (including HIV) are carried in body fluid - mostly semen (cum), vaginal secretions and blood. So safer sex means protecting yourself as much as possible - in short, by using a condom.
Where can I get condoms?
Condoms can be bought from chemists, garages, newsagents, supermarkets, vending machines in pubs and clubs, and online. Most genitourinary medicine (GUM) clinics, and some GPs, give them out for free.
Do I need a condom for oral sex?
Yes. Some STIs (such as herpes, and HIV) can be passed on. And when you use a condom for oral sex, change it for a new one before having vaginal or anal sex, because teeth can make little holes in it.
Flavoured condoms are wasted on anything else.
You can also use dental dams - small, thin, square pieces of latex - to cover the genitals or anus during oral sex. But generally avoid oral sex if you have bleeding gums, sores or cracked lips (all make it easier to spread an infection).
What about anal sex?
STIs are more likely to be passed on during anal sex. Condoms are a must.
How do I mention condoms without ruining the moment?
Make putting on a condom enjoyable by incorporating it into foreplay. Ripping the packet open may be a tiny distraction, but rolling it on can be fun.
Be gentle but firm. Just make sure it's on before the penis goes inside. STIs are passed on even if we don't come (reach orgasm).
My partner doesn't like condoms
Choosing to have unprotected sex puts you at risk of contracting STIs, and increases a woman's chances of becoming pregnant.
Whether you're having vaginal or anal intercourse, you need to use condoms. Some people think of many excuses to avoid using them, so be honest with your partner and let them know how you feel. The bottom line is, don't feel bad about saying: 'No condom, no sex.'
I'm on the pill
The pill won't stop STIs or HIV. STI rates are often high among pill users.
Many people stop using condoms when they get into a serious relationship.
STI bugs don't get any friendlier because you're in love. Wait until you've both had an STI check before relying on the pill alone.
We had an accident with a condom
If a condom breaks while you're having sex, stop and carefully pull out (or get your partner to). If you think some semen has escaped, you might want to talk to your GP or a GUM clinic about emergency contraception and an HIV/STI test. Even if you think you're both safe, it's worth enquiring about your testing options.
My partner would be insulted if I suggested an HIV test
Look at it this way - you're getting tested not because you don't trust each other, but because you don't trust previous partners.
What should I do if I've had unprotected sex?
Think about having a sexual health check-up at your GP or GUM clinic. This is worth doing even if you feel OK because many STIs have no symptoms.
If it's less than 72 hours since you had unprotected sex, women can take emergency contraception to ward off pregnancy. This is free from your GP/GUM clinic, or ask a pharmacist for Levonelle.
